I have heard that wives are suppose to ask for what they want from their husbands. I hear that husbands like that, or more importantly, they need that. So one day, maybe two months ago, I casually told Mark, "You know, it would really be nice if someday you'd stop by Angel Sweet on your way home from work and bring me some gelato." Being banned from ice cream and most other desserts for the sake of my nursing child, I was most excited to find out that there are many flavors of gelato that don't contain any dairy. It was a little too far away for a night-time craving. But it was on the way home from Mark's work. I thought I'd ask for what I wanted, but not
too directly, as to leave a little room for the husband to be
thoughtful.
Weeks went by and no gelato. After a while I started thinking. Some of these thoughts were dangerous: "I have been off dairy for the last seven months, and the least he can do is buy me some gelato," or, "Don't I do nice things for
him?" These thoughts brewed a little until one night as we were going to sleep we said our goodnights and Mark stated, "I hope you're happy." It was not a sarcastic statement, but a loving one, kind of a question about how our life was going. I responded, "Yes. But I'm still waiting for my gelato." And in spite of all that effort I put in to thinking about Mark bringing me home some gelato, he had no idea what I was talking about. Exasperated, I filled him in on that conversation from, I don't know, a month or two ago. He chuckled. That was a bad idea for him to chuckle. And he didn't remember that I'd ever said anything about that lovely, delicious gelato that they sell at Angel Sweet. That night's conversation ended up being a bit dramatic (tears, yes) on my account, because wives--don't you know?--it's not about gelato.
Several more days went by. It was a Wednesday. Mark and I were doing dishes after the boys went to bed. The conversation was about someone we love and he said something like, "Isn't it frustrating when we know exactly what a person should be doing but they're not doing it? Don't you wish you could just tell them what it is they should be doing?" To Mark's dismay I replied with: "Yeah, like WHAT DOES A GIRL HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME GELATO?!"
Then I proceeded to tell him what he
should have done after sad me told him that he never got me some gelato. I told him that he
should have bought me the largest container of gelato that they sell at dear Angel Sweet--budget be darned!
The next two nights there was absolutely no way for him to fulfill the gelato request because we were in the process of a Craigslist purchase that needed fast acting. We finally bought a swingset. Wednesday I picked Mark up from work and drove out so we could look at the thing. Thursday night he picked it up with the aid of the ever-helpful Daryl, my sister's husband.
Friday Mark went to his brothers house with a few guys for a game of Axis and Allies. He called to let me know that there was something hidden for me in the freezer. A huge tub of gelato, half pineapple, half berries of the forest. Because he knows that I like to get a berry alongside something more mild. I enjoyed quite a bit of gelato that night as I watched Extreme Home Makeover on Hulu. For the next few nights obviously I continued to have some of this delicious goodness.
All the while something strange was happening. Saturday I noticed a few little bumps on my left forearm. They felt like tiny bug bites. I figured that's what they were, but later that day and into the next there were more and more of them on both of my arms. By Monday I had a full-blown rash covering my arms and hands and on the bottom of my feet, but only places that weren't covered by clothing. It looked like a mild version of chicken pox, and felt like that too, minus any other symptoms like fever. Tuesday morning I was worried I had a disease or something that I could spread to people around me. I looked up all sorts of crazy things about rashes and bed bugs and viruses like chicken pox and shingles. I ruled out each one. I was itching like crazy and very uncomfortable. That night I finally agreed with Mark's request that I needed to see a doctor. Mark slept on the couch just to be safe. Wednesday I called the doctor and made an appointment for a full two days away, Friday afternoon. One of these nights Mark and I prayed for my rash to heal. Later when I knelt down to say my personal prayer, my mind was focused on something else when very clearly came the thought, "pineapple gelato." I'd had some that very night, just as I had every night since Friday. There was actually one day in there that I thought the rash was healing only for it to return later that night. I'd snuck in a few bites of the pineapple gelato in the middle of the day. I don't know if I have all of the sudden become allergic to pineapple or if there was something else in that gelato that I am allergic to. Mark did have some of this gelato and has not had any reaction, just to be clear. Also on Wednesday I started to notice a couple of canker sores in my mouth. Eating a hot dinner made the problem much, much more painful. Thursday I woke up to a mouthful of canker sores--looks like the reaction had spread to my mouth. I had a horrible time eating, or even talking. I got a flashlight to look into my mouth to see why it was so incredibly painful. Guess how many I counted? 24. No, that's not an exaggeration. And that doesn't include the sores that were out of sight. Canker sores unfortunately don't go away quickly. I was heartbroken that Saturday was the Salsa Challenge and I was in no shape at all to be eating any chips and salsa. The Salsa Challenge is a fundraising event in Tempe where all-you-can eat chips and salsa are dished out from nearly 100 different booths--contestants trying to win the prize for best salsa. It's the greatest day of my life. If you don't know, chips and salsa is a part of my identity. Love to make it, and love to eat it, and love that Mark shares that with me. I look forward to the Salsa Challenge for longer than I look forward to Christmas. I prayed Friday night to be able to 1)Eat chips and salsa at the Salsa Challenge and 2)Be able to talk well enough on Sunday to teach my lesson in Relief Society at church. I made sure to add that it was more important to me that I teach the lesson. :) Also Friday I went to the doctor, but that was uneventful because she didn't know what to say except to rule out some scary diseases and tell me to come back if it happens again. Also Friday my rash wasn't itchy anymore. It had been just over a day since I stopped eating the gelato.
Saturday morning I felt worse than ever. My mouth burned without even moving it. I was thinking I'd tell Mark to invite someone else to go with him to the Salsa Challenge and use my ticket. But somehow by midday I was feeling well enough to at least go. I told Mark on the way, "I hope you don't think poorly of me, but I am going to try to eat some chips and salsa." And so I did. It hurt like heck, but it was worth it. I stuck to the milder salsas but funny thing, the more I ate the better my mouth felt.
Owen asleep on our way out of the Salsa Challenge
Adam and Mark (wait, is that him? Yeah, it's hard to tell, but it's Mark)
This picture makes me laugh. There were some games for the kids at the Salsa Challenge.
Adam had a hard time even holding the beater thing up. This match lasted a long time.
What a merciful Heavenly Father we have. I think it was the salty chips that helped to heal things a bit. Goes to show me that it does help to pray about all things that are important to us, even if they sound silly. Sunday came and my lesson went fine, I think I was lisping but I was able to talk. Today the rash is nearly gone and the mouth sores are on a very slow downhill. They still hurt pretty bad, but there are not so many of them. Though I am pretty certain I have a few down my throat now.
I can't help but laugh at how nagging about gelato brought about all of this. What lesson is this suppose to teach me? Or is there one? What's the best way for a wife to let her husband know what she'd like without making it seem like she's dictating him to do something nice for her?
I don't know about that, but I do have some advice to husbands: If your wife ever hints at wanting something or even implies liking something, especially if she is not the kind of girl to ask for things a lot,
YOU'D BETTER TAKE NOTE. Literally, write it down or engrave it on your skin or whatever it takes and then, here's the important part--
do that or
buy that. Got it?
P.S. I wrote this post not to complain about my husband who I love dearly, but partly because I don't want to leave too much of reality out and only write about the good stuff. I feel a little dishonest if I have come across like June Cleaver to anyone. I am a wreck several times a day! But that's not very fun for me to post about--it's better to showcase the good times most of the times.
