E.R.

Why am I writing this post instead of going back to sleep? Maybe I just need to get it off my chest so I can settle down.

I came to consciousness at about 3:30 this morning to the sound of Adam crying. After a second of lying in my bed in a haze I remembered other sounds I mostly heard in my sleep that had preceeded the crying: hard coughing and a wheezing, gasping for breath. I ran into Adam's room expecting that he had thrown up. I frantically patted his chest and surrounding pillow and saw nor felt any signs of vomitting. Then he just kept gasping, struggling to breathe. It was perhaps the most terrifying moment of my life. Mark had jumped out of bed shortly after I picked Adam up and agreed that we needed to take him to the E.R. We have friends whose baby girl has been suffering from breathing problems recently so we were more than aware of the severity of a child not being able to breathe. Mark started to get his shoes on but I insisted that I take Adam so I threw my contacts in (I should really get a pair of glasses), clothes and flip-flops on while Mark found my purse, phone, and put Adam into the car. By the time we were on the road I probably had been awake for a good five minutes, but Adam's breathing was getting better all the time. He said something in the car on the way (in an airy, raspy voice) that sounded really close to "Jesus is in my house." I asked him to say it again and it sounded the same so I asked him, "Jesus is in your house?" And he responded, "Yeah, Jesus is in my house." How could one simple phrase both terrify me and comfort me at the same time? I am still not sure if I heard him correctly or if he was just agreeing and then repeating what I had said like that was what he was saying all the time. I turned the dome light on so I could see him well as I drove to the hospital and of course I said multiple prayers the whole drive there--fortunately just a couple of miles. I considered more than once running a red light. Especially when I got right next to the hospital. There aren't many cars on the road at 3:30 am and I thought that if a police officer saw me run the light he would also see me turn into the hospital. But Adam's breathing had calmed down considerably so I waited the long 45 seconds for the light to turn green and went into the ER.

It was a pretty simple diagnosis: Adam has croup. The worst attacks of croup happen at night and it was enough to completely freak us out. Apparently fresh, cool air helps the airway to relax so taking him outside even just to get in the car was enough to help him a bit. I didn't hardly notice a cough at all, when Adam awoke Mark suggested that maybe he was having an asthma attack, though he's never had any asthma problems before. After three hours in the ER including a steroid for his airway and a 45 minute breathing treatment we left. We drove home with the morning sun. Before Mark left for work I ran to Wal-Mart for a humidifier and after breakfast and the 20-minute disinfectant routine for the humidifier I put a reluctant Adam back to bed.

Adam's older brother is now going to enjoy some movies while Mom goes back to bed too. We are blessed and whether he meant to say it or not Jesus is in our house.

And next time I'm running that red light.