Locks

Tonight Mark is having a birthday party, just him and some fellas at his brother's bachelor pad. He has worked hard getting through with school and he deserves a fun night to play video games without any thought to when he will be home.

I needed something to do so I partnered up with Tanya--her husband also out of the house for the party. I spent half of my time at Tanya's lying with my boys on the floor of their master bedroom waiting for them to finally fall asleep. Then Tanya and I watched Little Women and shed a couple of un-embarassed tears.

I came home at a rather late hour, thinking about how I knew Mark would not be home for quite a while yet. Then I started thinking those thoughts that I think when I am home alone, or at least without a husband to protect me. I comforted myself in remembering, absolutely, that I had locked the back door. When I came through the garage door with my second load of sleeping boy I glanced at the doorknob--locked of course. Later I looked in the direction of the front door. "It's just the shadow playing tricks on me," I thought. But no, upon closer inspection I realized it was not locked. How could this have happened? I remember locking it. Or, was it that I was going to lock it then I realized I had never checked the mail? That must have been it. I must have forgotten to lock it after getting the mail. Right?

Why is it that the thought of leaving my door unlocked for hours in an evening frightens me? Wouldn't someone who wanted to get in my house get in whether I left the front door unlocked or not? It seems I should be more frightened at the thought of someone coming up to my front door and turning the handle without invitation, whether the door be locked or not. And why I am I still awake and writing about what should or should not frighten me when I have no one here to interrupt this silly train of thought? Who knows, but I can tell you this: I am sleeping with my contacts in tonight.